Sunday, 6 January 2008

"The truth is out there but is actually quite dull."

The Government are releasing an archive of files into the public domain. Not terribly interesting on its own but once every newspaper adds the term ‘X-Files’ into the headline it’s enough to attract geeks like me. Due to the persistence of UFOlogist David Clarke and his merry band, the shadowy DI55 branch of the Ministry of Defence is releasing all its inquiries made into British UFO sightings, close encounters, and alleged reports of alien presence on Earth.

Frankly I can’t decide if this news is brilliant or depressing.

While I could be wrong, I sincerely doubt that these files will release news of a world-spanning inter-governmental conspiracy to keep the existence of extra-terrestrials under wraps. Perhaps, bent to the malevolent will of the Pope, governments have been forced to hide this information from their people by constructing top secret facilities, brainwashing the multitudes using subliminal messages during ‘X-Factor’, and secretly securing all the alien shape shifters/clones away in Guantanamo Bay to keep the populous safe from their destructive extraterrestrial influence. Perhaps, the invasion of Iraq was a cover to justify the extermination of Saddam who, collaborating with the alien forces, created an assimilated army of alien/human hybrid clones; Codename – ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction’. But I doubt it.

It’s bound to a bevy of unsubstantial evidence collected by a multitude of inconsequential people. Even more likely it’ll turn out that most of the sightings have been explained away through natural or military applications. The last time Dr. David Clarke of Sheffield Hallam got this kind of information forced into public light, was known as Project Condign and, to drastically paraphrase Dr. Clarke, it resulted in bugger all.

All this news shows is that our governmental departments have been conducting large-scale research and investigation into UFO sightings and possible paranormal activity. They even went so far as to create a department; the mysterious DI55, who (shock and horror!) don’t even have a Wikipedia entry. Or they did, but it’s been deleted. Still, reading Dr. Clarke’s account of all this seems to reveal that the department were actually quite accommodating and ultimately bowed to the pressure of someone who kept bugging them.

Despite all that cynicism as to the existence (or rather, presence) of actual aliens, I would give my right arm to work in that department. The life of a DI55 agent: jetting around Britain to investigate paranormal phenomena, talking to paranoid locals, fending off rabid UFOlogists. A man can dream...

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